Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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