I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
