Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i now understand why vodka
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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