after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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