i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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