Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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