Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
