i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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