so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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