do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
