just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
