"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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