You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
