wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
