i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
