He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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