i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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