i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
