the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
