Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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