just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
