Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
