Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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