i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize