I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
