someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
