At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
