Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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