Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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