You just made me feel so damn special
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
should my penis look like a turkey
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
