5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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