just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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