My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
