I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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