Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
