You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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