check it out our google latitudes are spooning
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
