I understand Curling. That high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
