how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize