just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Randomize
