We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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