Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
