I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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