Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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