She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
