3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize