You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
