We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
