It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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