i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My breasts were aching with rage.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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