Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
