So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize