Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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