My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
