Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
MIDGETS
????
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
