In the future we'll all be gay
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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