I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
