You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize