just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
