There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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