She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
