This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
