dude i'm inner monologue high
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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