the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
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I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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