I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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