Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
