i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i think i just lost a toe
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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