I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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