Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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